Are you a "one upper"?

So before I became a mother, I rarely ran into this type of person. You know, the person who always has it worse than you. I think it is basic human nature to want to complain, and I totally admit to doing it myself. However, I think there is a line that can easily be crossed.

Now that I'm a mom, I feel like I am running into this type of person ALL THE TIME. There seems to be some sort of need to "have it worse off" than the other person, and I'm really having a hard time wrapping my head around it. Let's look at some of the reasons we complain in the first place:

Venting: Sometimes you just have to let it out! Complaining really doesn't make any situation better, but it sure feels good to tell someone else.
Commiseration: Nobody wants to feel like they are alone in the world.
Advice: Sometimes we can't figure out what to do just by our-self, and we need to ask someone to get different opinions. It makes sense!

I really do think complaining, venting, seeking advice is really therapeutic, or I wouldn't have a blog! I feel that constantly "one upping" other moms though is very detrimental. We need to stick together, not make each other feel insignificant. Constantly having it worse than other people, especially when they are seeking advice or help just makes them feel like their complaints are needless when you "have it so bad."

As mothers, I think we really need to try and be empathetic to others, especially other moms! We all have different situations in life and need to support each other as best we can. Nobody else will really understand where we are coming from, and it is really important to support each other!


Cus' breaking up is hard to do

I've had a sudden crash course in reality. Specifically, Facebook reality, which is actually more real than you might think. A friend de-friended me on Facebook. When, I don't know, why? I barely know! But this friend was someone who I happened to really respect and love, so of course it hurt my feelings. It is hard not to tie your real life to Facebook, I think we are becoming so ingrained!

So yes, I have spent the majority of my day bawling my head off over Facebook. Then it became a lot more than just Facebook. When I asked my friend why, she said that I had written some derisive comment. I looked,  and found it. Yes, it was belittling. Yes, I had had about two glasses of wine before I wrote it. Yes, I didn't really think about it when I wrote it.

Does that make me a prime subject for de-friending? No.

First, a lesson in de-friending. There are some requirements, or at least there should be for some common decency. Firstly, one should not de-friend on Facebook over petty arguments. Making an out of place comment is a good example. Secondly, one should not defriend unless there has been a face to face, exchange of words. Thirdly, one should not defriend someone who they might see in the near future, or has close contact with people you relate to on a regular basis.

Prom Queen from HS you haven't talked to in 3 years? Yes.

Stay at home mom who barely has any friends as it is, speaks to your friends on a regular basis, with a son who absolutely adores you? No.

In short, over a text conversation I was told the comment was the last straw, and I have belittled and used this friend to the point where she no longer wants to be my friend. This makes me sad, because a) I never want my friends to feel belittled or used b) said friend didn't even talk to me about how she felt and c) somebody doesn't like me!!! (queue crying here). It hurts a lot more than I would expect, but it really is very similar to being dumped by your high school boyfriend. You're told you aren't valued, your faults are brought to the surface, and then bam, on your ass. I really wish it didn't have to be this way because I have some really awesome memories with this person (or you could say, not memories at times haha). Ethan really loved her and hasn't seen her in forever, and one of the toys she gave him for his birthday is his favorite!

A lot of people have told me, oh well, good riddance, ect. I guess I can't say that because if I could I obviously wouldn't be crying. Sigh, I suppose this is part of life. Live on and move on.

So yes, breaking up (with your friend) is hard to do. I'm going to go cry myself to sleep now. Night Ya'all.


Menu Planning Monday 1/23

Monday: Steak and Cheese Sandwiches
Tuesday: Fajitas and Frijoles
Wednesday: Asian Turkey Meatballs and Rice (which reminds me I need to get sesame oil!)
Thursday: Spaghetti and Salad
Friday: Vegetarian Chili
Saturday: Roast Chicken, Mashed Potatoes, Veggies
Sunday: Pea Soup and Grilled Cheese Sandwiches



I really am trying!

I really am trying to post, but I feel like I've run out of things to post about, I guess. Maybe it's because I just feel so stuck recently. Ethan is 15 months old now, and is such a great little kid. But I really don't get any time at all for me. The last time I was by myself was a doctor appointment (read 30 minutes). I keep thinking longingly about when I was younger, and I could do what the heck I wanted, within constrictions of course.

When we are kids, we believe that things will be awesome when we're grown up. We will eat all the ice cream in the world, stay up until 6am, and play video games all the time. Then you grow up and it hits you, this crap has consequences! Growing up is really just the realization that your actions affect others and yourself (it seems). If I eat all the ice cream I want, I will be fat and unhealthy. Same goes for playing video games all day, who has the time for that anyways! Staying up until 6 is no longer a possibility because you're out by 9. 9PM.

That was a bit of a tangent but it's true. I hope Ethan enjoys his childhood and doesn't take it for granted like I did (who am I kidding, he will, like every child does). Right now, all I want is a great massage, a shopping day, a night on the town, heck a biology class would be welcome! I am starting to feel under stimulated and I need to find some solutions that are easy on the wallet, who has any ideas?! I'm going to do some major brainstorming about this blog. I want it to be my outlet, but everyone will probably agree that if nobody reads its it's nothing more than a horrible diary. I like feedback, and comments, and opinions. I don't want to be top mommy blogger of the year or anything like that. But I would like to stimulate the reader and me in the same throw. Any ideas on that either? Halp!


Books I really want to read Ethan

So, I grew up with books. I am the biggest book nerd on the planet (may be an hyperbole). My mom was an awesome mother who took us everywhere and read to us (my brother and I) every night. It really was something to look forward to. Ethan is such a hyper little guy, it is hard to get him to sit down and listen, but I try every night anyways- as part of our bedtime routine. He especially loves the books with animals, and loves it even more if you go through and make the noise each animal makes.

When he gets older, I have a whole list of big books I want to read him. Some were read to me as a child, some weren't but are my favorites.
  • The Hobbit (was read to me as a child)
  • The Laura Ingalls Wilder series (read to me as a child)
  • Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass (a favorite)
  • Harry Potter (a favorite)
  • The Myst Series (was read to me as a child, we played the games as a family)
  • The Chronicles of Narnia (a favorite)
  • A Wrinkle in Time, A Swiftly Tilting Planet, Many Waters, and A Wind in the Door
  • Westerly by Susan Cooper
  • The Boggart by Susan Cooper
  • Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
  • Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator (vermicious knids!)
  • The BFG
  • Matilda (I read this book to DEATH as a kid)
  • Lemony Snickets
These are all books I personally have read at least 20 times or more, and I cannot wait to share them with Ethan! 

Wow! and New Years Resolutions.

Ok, I suck. I admit it. I really haven't been writing at all, and I have been feeling tons of guilt about it. Not because I feel like I have a reader base I'm disappointing (obviously, look at my followers haha), but because I feel like I've been cheating myself. I like having my little blog that I can look back on and go, wow! it was really like that! So, since it's the beginning of the year I am reinstating my resolution to write at least once a week. I think I actually did a really good job last year, I definitely wrote more than I did the year before- so I consider it a success.

Looking back on that post, there were a few things I didn't do well with. Mostly weight, but I think everyone struggles with that! It is so easy to be motivated and really driven in the beginning, isn't it? Then it really just begins to be a bore. I'm lazy, I'll admit it. I would rather spend an hour on the couch than 15 minutes running. It needs to be done though, so I am constantly having an internal struggle with myself. I can do nothing but try again this year. I try not to put so much faith in myself when I manage to fail at this all the time! I do not want to be the "fat mom" at the playgroup, but it seems to be happening anyways. I will try, that is my new years resolution.

I wasn't exactly on track with prayers, or remembering to pray. That's another thing I KNOW I need to do, but it is really easy to get caught up in life and forget about it. I've downloaded a few things on the iPhone that have helped me remember at least, so I think I am actually seeing an improvement in that.

I have a few business goals too, since I've started my direct sale business with Scentsy. Mainly, I want to recruit three people this year! It is a small number compared to some of the other people who are big with Scentsy, but I am a small time gal. I have to really think about how Scentsy has blessed Austine and me; the extra money has really been a lifesaver and it is awesome to be able to stay home with Ethan. So, I have to keep thinking I am sharing a blessing with others, and not a burden.

That's it! I will be posting about this again in another year! I'm glad I've made some improvements, and it is nice to see that. It is nice to be in a state where you seek constant improvement...and I feel good that I have made some. Yay!