I'm a timebomb...

The anticipation of labor is killing me! My due date is October 3rd, only 3 days away! I haven't felt anything yet, just a few mild (we're talking period pain mild) contractions. So far I'm only 1 centimeter dilated and like 0% effaced. Every night I lay down, and just wait for the contractions to start!

Then, when they come a few apart (like ten) I get worried that I'm starting labor, and I wish I had more time?! Why am I a bipolar pregnant woman? You'd think by now that I'd be tired of this pregnancy thing, who would miss the heartburn, sciatic pain, walnut sized bladder, or carpal tunnel? I just worry about my life changing so much, not that I won't be able to handle it but wow, things are going to change!

I have found over the years that I resist change as much as possible, even when it's for the better. When I first got married, I was in such shock. Things were so different, I had no time to "me" anymore, I wasn't alone, I didn't have space! I was seriously doubting whether or not I had made the right decision. As time passed, I fell into a routine and I became to feel really comfortable with my life with my husband. Now that I'm finally used to it, it's going to change again! I know we can't stay stagnant, but can't we work into this gradually? How about I have the kid for 3 days a week?

Scared mom to be talking here, I'm not serious.

I think.

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